Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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