More tranny stories later!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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