Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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