Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just pee around me
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
