am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
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You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We smell like vodka and hangover
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