The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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