Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize