How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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