I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
