coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
