how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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