So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
