As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
