fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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