Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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