have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize