hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize