last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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