i think my tv is drunk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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