Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
