Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
