You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Are we still banned from the library?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
