well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
