My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I puked a lego.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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