I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I cannot find my penis.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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