Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I party with great urgency now.
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