Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and she was petting her beer can
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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