My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize