He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize