No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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