How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
