For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
