i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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