It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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