I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
