i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
