Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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