so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
