The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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