I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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