after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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