Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
