please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We left the knife in your bed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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