your parents love me but you hate me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
