He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
