he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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