theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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