We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
