oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
