Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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