i jhust puked up my retainher.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
