Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
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the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
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Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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