I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
