sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
