when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
