Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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