ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
