Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
