You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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