Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
