His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
