Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize