when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
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I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
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He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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