no you cant smoke seaweed
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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