OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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