I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
