I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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