You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wish you could order shots online.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
