Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude i'm inner monologue high
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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