Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
